First I have to say that I really have no memory of Thanksgiving before I was about 11 years old. Please understand as well that I am the 7th child in a group of 7 children that my parents had, so every holiday was to be a day of gathering and feasting.
When I was 11 we went to Lewiston to celebrate with my Grandmother...I sat at the kids table, which didn't even come to my knees when I stood next to it. The first year we lived in Orange County I was 13, I was asked to decorate the table for dinner at my sister's house. We had, in Young Womens, recently done this wooden turkey sucker holder...(as a side note here I don't like painted wooden objects, but they were all the rage in the L.D.S. population of Orange County at the time)...I, not being a "flowers are red and green" kind of person painted my turkey purple and orange. I thought this thing filled with suckers would make a very unique center piece, with a purple table cloth and napkins...to which I was made fun of...really memorable for a girl of 13. Then, I don't know how many years later, came what I call the year of the bananas...my sister had a soft spot in the middle of the highest traffic area of her mobile home...between the kitchen and dining room. So, to remind everyone of this so that they didn't break her floor...never mind if someone hurt themselves...she put a bunch of bananas on this spot. All day long anyone who came within 3 feet of those bananas got screeched at mercilessly. One of my brother's was there with his family of 3 children, one of them being a toddler I believe, so trust me when I say that there was a lot of screaming that year, and the reason that particular Thanksgiving is emblazoned upon my memory. Then shortly after this came the year one of my brother's came home from his mission and ate his dinner with no hands out of a dog bowl...gosh that was just so much fun! Heavy sarcasm here!
I don't really remember much more until Angie and I were living in Las Vegas with my eldest brother Clyde and his family going to college there. Craig and his family had come up for the weekend and when dinner time rolled around and food was being taken out of the oven and the table was being set, I ran to the bathroom (mind you it only takes me about 1 minute to pee) and when I came back in the prayer had already been said, even though Angie asked them to wait a second because I ran to pee. She tells me the response was "it doesn't matter"...this is when I knew that I was never going to be considered family. The following year Angie and I were alone in Vegas as we had become the "most hated creatures in Bikini Bottom". We couldn't afford turkey and all that jazz, so we went to a movie instead...we saw that live-action piece-o-crap version of "The Cat in the Hat", and had day old Chinese food from the Panda express next to the Theater in the Palms. We came home, ate crackers, watched Christmas movies, and cried. The following year Angie and I, still being the most hated creatures in Bikini Bottom, and not having a car to drive, stayed at home trying desperately to deny the existence of this particular holiday, as by this point I had truly come to loathe Thanksgiving. 2 of my brother's across town were to come and pick up our car and bring it to my dad to be fixed...only at my father's insistence. When they did come I might as well have been handing my keys over to 2 complete strangers as they refused to even speak or look at me...I spent the rest of the day cleaning my toilet with my tears. I found out later on that my other 2 brothers were also there across town enjoying a large Thanksgiving feast...these 2 claimed to not be involved in the whole "everyone needs to hate Cristy and Angie thing", and that they still cared about me...apparently they couldn't even stop by to say hello. That was the day I stopped celebrating Thanksgiving...as it has only provided me with pain and suffering!
So there it is, the reason I hate Thanksgiving, the reason I don't answer the phone this day, and the reason I spend it praying nothing bad will happen. Thank you to all of my siblings for ruining this holiday for me. Every time one of them calls and asks if I would like to come and spend Thanksgiving with them I smile and say "no thank you". Finally after all these years I am saying it to the internet void...NO, you stupid-asses!!! I HATE this holiday because of your selfishness and stupidity, and I don't EVER want to spend this holiday with any of you EVER again!!!! So yeah, I hate Thanksgiving...the most positive thing that has ever come of this day is my husband's $60 an hour that he gets paid to work it. It is possible to hate Thanksgiving, and it is ok when someone does. I am trying to make it better for my children's sake, and hopefully the turkey waffles this morning is a start in that direction. So here's to turkey waffles and $60 an hour!
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