Potty Choosing

          First I want to say that I don’t wish to offend anyone by the forth coming rant…now that I said that, I am so tired of hearing about people’s potty training success!!!  I have tried to be understanding and smile politely, but now I am done!  The next time I hear that someone has potty trained their 18 month old I am going to scream at them, not because of their success, or even because they are happy about it, but because of how smug they are when they say it.  I can’t take it anymore…I am officially done hearing about it ever!!  Next…NO, I do not want your advice or your sympathy or your pathetic looks that I inevitably get when you find out that my 4 year old is not yet potty trained.  Because trust me when I say this, I have tried everything…YES I HAVE!!  Don’t sit at your computer right now shaking your head going “well you must not have tried this because you have a 4 year old that won’t use the toilet”…because I have tried it and I don’t want to hear about whatever miracle method worked for you!

            A few months back I was reading a status update on Facebook where an acquaintance of mine said that her 18 month old went into the potty all on her own and continued to do it all day long, and wondered if potty training is really that easy.  After I got done screaming at the top of my lungs and cried my eyes out I decided that I didn’t love parents who think that they somehow have something to do with it.  We don’t!  When our children are potty trained then we should pat them on the head and immediately go to our rooms, get down on our knees, and thank God for enlightening our children’s minds!  Because honestly, what do we really do?  We buy the stupid potty chair that sits in the corner of the bathroom for weeks…months…years collecting dust, and at this point is the bane of my existence and I really wish to take out and set fire to.  We have sticker charts laminated (yes, my closet is full of them); we keep jars of whatever in our homes to fill as they “succeed” on the toilet.  We spend all day ruining our backs sitting on the bathroom floor reading endless books praying for potty to come, yeah, did the “potty party”.  

My mother-in-law is consistently telling me that all I have to do is sit her down on the toilet and tell her what to do, because it is just that easy.  I want to say right now that I should be commended for not ringing her neck or even yelling at her…I just smiled and said “Well I am so happy that it was that easy for you.”.  Then she proceeded in telling us that we better talk to the doctor about this as there must be something wrong with her because she is not using the potty yet.  Then there was the inevitable day when her cousin who is 15 days older than her was trained, who is also autistic…yeah that was such a fun day for me hearing about my failure as a mother.  I finally got to the point where I told my husband that I didn’t ever want to talk about this subject again with her, as I couldn’t take anymore.

I have come to realize that “potty training” is a myth.  What is it that we all believe we are training?  There is no training going on there, there is only choosing.  The child is either going to choose to use the potty or not, so in my opinion it should be called “potty choosing”.  My daughter is lazy, and stubborn.  She is not going to respond to me telling her what to do; as a matter of fact she is going to do the opposite of what I tell her.  She is the most strong-willed child I have ever come across in my entire life, and I have 20 nieces and nephews.  She is going to have to choose to use the toilet, and she hasn’t made that choice yet.  She will decide at some point, and until then all I can do is pray for her to understand why it is a good thing.

So, in the end it comes down to whether or not they want to use it…it is their choice to make.  And good for you if your child chose to use it at 18 months or 2 years, but don’t somehow believe that you had something to do with it.  Give credit where credit is due, with God!  And again, I apologize if anyone was offended…I just really needed to rant about this.