Xerox Christmas Letter 2015

In honor of Ray Stevens, and given that I don't Xerox anything anymore, this will be done digitally.  I have never done a Xerox Christmas letter before so bear with me, I will try not to let my sense of humor get the better of me...please understand that I can't help if it peeks through on occasion.  I don't completely understand the fascination people have with writing xerox Christmas letters every year and sending it to people who you haven't seen in 10 to 20 years or more.  I do however understand the desire to poke fun at this...I will try.

So, I am supposed to start with Ryane right...let me see:  His car has a pin that is banging around in the engine block, yeah the one we just got.  In the later part of this year while pitching produce about the back room he ripped some things in his shoulders, so we hired the Godfather and we await some type of surgery and settlement.  On a positive note he finished his wastewater class, so now he can tell you how they turn your poop into drinking water...yeah I was a little grossed out too...there are things in life you DO NOT need to know.

Ok now onto me...the best thing I can say is that I am still vertical and able to walk.  I have a ruptured disc in my back which has pretty well emptied itself, while very low down I pretty much don't have any discs at all.  This means I know in living color what sciatica is, and thankfully what the lovely, all be it temporary, cure is...needles, lots of needles.  Now I will discover the joy of branch blocks...also needles.  I also have TMJ in my left jaw...which I will have surgery on in February.  On the positive note I was able to get back onto my meds and the world seems to have a whole lot more color since then...despite the various crisis situations that seem to continually arise.

I suppose Casey is next...what do I say about this child who is both a delight and frustration all at the same time?  The fact that she is still among the living should speak volumes.  Her meds are completely out of control despite 2 med changes and 3 blood tests...she is losing weight and we are waiting to see what the pediatric endocrinologist wants to do in January.  They could end up killing what thyroid she has just to get control.  She hasn't passed her times tables, but gets 100%'s on her math tests which is starting to frustrate her teacher to no end.  She is reading far beyond what she is allowed to AR test for, and I was able to get the librarian to put the Harry Potter tests on her Chromebook so she could test on those which is generally not allowed for elementary school students.  She has tested for the GATE program and I just completed the parent survey for it.  She is also learning not to talk back to her mom...yeah, that's why her still being alive speaks volumes.

Middle child is next...Ryan Jr. is a little sponge, sucking in all information presented to him.  He loves his kindergarten teacher and knows all his letters and sounds!  His numbers took a little longer, but now he is writing to 100 almost every day.  He is in speech 3 days a week, which they take him out of class for, and his articulation is improving each day.  The best words I have ever heard come out of a teachers mouth were "he's a chatterbox here".  This boy is the sweetest thing on 2 feet and I'm sure my reward from God for not cooking Casey...he tells me I'm beautiful and that he wants to marry me and he brings me flowers!  He has also already lost 2 teeth...both pulled out by Grandpa at Ryan's request.

Youngest and final beastie Matthew has grown the most this year, but hey it was his first year of life...he learned to roll, sit, stand, crawl, and walk.  He now weighs over 20 pounds and drinks about half the amount of milk that his brother does...also having to be of the chocolate variety.  You would think being the 3rd child that mom has seen it all...not true here, he seems determined to do anything and everything that his brother and sister never tried or succeeded at!  Mom must experience ALL things, such as: ear infections, contacting poison control on a holiday, temper tantrums, ripping down the gate at the bottom of the stairs, ripping open the cabinet locks, and the list continues daily.  It is truly wonderful to be a 1 year old boy right now with blue eyes and blonde hair!  I have discovered the key to the beast though...food!  Anytime he even begins the grumpies, we put food or milk in his mouth and his mood will do a complete 180 right in front of you.  Welches makes a snack called PB&J...they are little round balls of grape jelly with peanut butter around them...yep, it's a bit like giving an offering and praying he doesn't bite your finger.

On to our old folks, Grandpa and Grandma are both the happiest and tiredest nursery leaders ever...and as far as our ward is concerned the best nursery leaders ever!  Grandma teaches the lessons and Grandpa gives the snacks...and all the kids who have left want to go back!  They have been left with 1 little boy, so Grandpa has recruited the only one due to come in at all...Matthew, no matter that he is only a year old.  Their health is good and they are both happy...despite the truck's first ever major repair.

Now to the pets, because what Xerox Christmas letter would be complete without an update on the dog and cat!!

Barkley has learned the hard way to love his newest charge.  He has spent the majority of the year being retrained by spending nights in his crate because he got angry and was peeing in Matthew's room all the time.  He has since discovered that his new boy is his best bud because he feeds him off his tray at every meal.  No more peeing has meant no more crate, which means happy Barkley and happy boys.  As soon as I am able to go on walks again I will start the companion retraining so that he can begin to accompany me places again.

Our newest addition came to us on Mother's Day...a small calico hairball that dad and I paid $5 each for.  Casey dubbed her Calico Jazz, and we call her Callie.  She has grown quickly to be quite large and she is still not yet a year old, and at this point we are wondering if she isn't part wildcat.  I am thinking that if she continues to grow she is going to be roughly the same size as a small puma.  Having a female cat has been very different for us, she is entirely indoor and she needs people...us for example.  She is quite the little momma, and gets angry at me when I don't follow Matthew all over this house...she does that for me.  She follows me around the house checking on the kids and occasionally biting my feet...when she isn't draping herself over Grandpa's shoulder.