A Boy's Needs

Boys and girls are different, this is an established fact, but I was surprised by how truly different they are when I had my son.  I have been attempting to raise him for 3 and a half years now, and I have noticed that boys have things that are essential in their lives.  This is by no means belittling or making light of girls and their needs…but I have noticed lately that I have been telling several people who are new parents of a boy that there are certain things they “need” to have.

1^st, boys must have cars.  These cars need to vary in size from Hot Wheels size to dump truck size.  I have also noted that just a few of these are NOT enough, as you cannot have a proper sized town or destruction derby with only a handful of cars.  I have come to believe that 30 cars is a minimum, where for proper racing and destruction 50 is better.  We never taught our son how to play with cars…he came that way from God, I just know it!!  Cars never just drive on the “road”, they must go at ramming speed…all the time!  And there are a lot of crashes…noisy, bashing, run for cover so you don’t get hit by an errant hot wheel crashes.  Add some planes and helicopters in there and a good time will be had by all boys! 

2^nd, boys must have action figures.  I have recently come to the realization that these are like cars, in that there is a minimum of 30…in varying sizes.  The first action figures my son had were Thor (because of his heritage), and Captain America…this was the first battle our house experienced.  Then we bought him some of those Imaginext Batman toys, this is when my son’s love affair with Batman began, those little Batmans went everywhere with him.  So I pulled out our dvd’s of the animated series, and started showing them to him…3 months later I could finally try Justice League.  By this point in time I have no idea how many Batmans we have, but I do know that he beats up everyone…apparently Superman is no match for Batman.  At this point in time all action figures work, but the super hero ones trounce the others all the time.

3^rd, boys must have a cape.  Now whether it is a piece of orange fleece or an actual cape with a symbol doesn’t matter, all that matters is that he can put it over his head and run through the house with it billowing behind him.  And trust me when I say that the value of the cape is measured by its ability to billow in the wind.  The first cape my son had, and still has, is an orange piece of fleece that I cut a v shape in and tied in a knot.  He wore it all the time, even when sleeping…washing it was like trying to wash Casey’s Pooh.  In other words it had to be stolen and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth for the entire length of time that it was being washed and dried.  He now has several capes, one that is reversible with Batman on one side and Superman on the other.

4^th, and probably most important, boys need a person willing to give them whatever they want whenever they want it…like chocolate milk and ice cream.  My son has his grandmother…and she sees it as her job in life to corrupt small boys.  She feeds him ice cream whenever he requests it, and if we don’t have anything I am told very pointedly that “the boy is out of ice cream”.  The same goes for chocolate milk…often is the Saturday night where I am standing in line at the grocery store with milk and chocolate because “the boy can’t make it till Monday”.  I come downstairs in the morning and find my son sitting on the table with the butter tub between his legs and my mother handing him a spoon.  The corrupting influence of an old lady is a most important piece of a boy’s development…who else lets them get dirty and wet in their suit?!

All in all boys are just as high maintenance as girls are, only in different ways, and with different needs.  Here’s to the 50+ cars and 50+ action figures that we step on in the wee morning hours, here’s to the ice cream and chocolate milk for breakfast, and here’s to our boys…may we love them enough to give in to their needs!!

Forever in Blue Jeans

Once upon a time there was a little girl whose mother loved Neil Diamond, so of course the little girl was taught to love Neil Diamond.  That little girl grew up and took her mother to her first ever Neil Diamond concert in Las Vegas, NV.  And mother and daughter still enjoy listening to Neil Diamond together…the end.

Needless to say I was the little girl and my mother happily indoctrinated me while growing up.  My mother was the custodian for our church building in our very small town.  My father was the Bishop when the plans were being made for the design of the chapel and cultural hall, and he designed the sound system in both areas.  The cultural hall had a setup where you could just plug in a tape player of your choosing and play music using the 24 speakers in the ceiling.  My mother, on certain occasions, would take advantage of this set up while cleaning the building. 

I was often at work with my mother as I was still very young when she had to start working, and I spent days with just me and my mom.  Anyway, one day I was in one end of the building when I heard the music start…and I ran to where she was.  The first time in my life I heard “Forever in Blue Jeans” while standing in the middle of that cultural hall while all 24 speakers were playing it.  It reverberated throughout my small body and changed my life forever.  This is when I understood 2 truths:  1^st, that Neil Diamond should never ever be played quietly.  And 2^nd, that while cleaning nothing is a better motivator than Neil Diamond.

When we moved to California we could never afford to go see him in concert…and time passed.  I was attending UNLV in Las Vegas when I discovered he was playing at the MGM Grand…around Christmas…and Mom and Dad were coming for Christmas.  It was my gift to her.  So 2 days after Christmas we went to be part of a 14,000 person audience singing “Forever in Blue Jeans” right along with Neil Diamond.  This is one of those moments in time that you never forget, and cherish always.

Recently my husband bought me a new speaker system for my computer and when we got it all set up with the rear speakers mounted on the ceiling, the first thing I did was bring my mother up and sat her in the chair to listen to “Forever in Blue Jeans” in surround sound.  We reminisced about the cultural hall all those years ago and then again about that concert at the MGM.

Here’s to you Mr. Diamond for bringing a mother and daughter closer, and for giving us “Forever in Blue Jeans”!

The Silver Hornet

Recently our silver Cougar died, the mechanic says it would take $2300 to fix it…I’m not paying that.  The car has been sitting since that point, as we happily floated down the river of denial…that car means more to us than we previously thought.  Last week I took a box out and started emptying the personal contents out, and I cried and mourned.  I lived the memories all over again…of the first time I rode in the car, of the first time I drove the car, and of the many trips we made in the car.  I remember sitting in the backseat breast-feeding both of my children in a variety of parking lots.  I have remembered so many things about that car while I took my trip to clean it out. 

My father-in-law was gifted in finding and procuring cars, he used to show up every few weeks with a new one.  He would come and sell us a great car for $500 and leave to find a new one.  We miss him, and we miss his ability to get us used cars.  This car was the last one we had that he got for us, and there will never be another.  We mourn not just the loss of the car, but we mourn the loss of him all over again.  My husband even took of the “cougar” off the back, and the hubcaps as he paid his last respects.

It was finally picked up today and I watched as the tow truck drove away, watched as I would see it for the last time.  It was a good car, extremely frustrating, but a good car none the less.  It served us well for at least 6 years. 

So here’s to you Silver Hornet, may you ever live in our memories!