Two and a Half

I don’t know what it is about this age, but after having 2 children hit this age, I have noticed a trend…this is the age where they stop having a cherub like demeanor and develop devil like horns.  I don’t understand why this is this way, but I now know without a shadow of a doubt that this is an age of changing.

 My son…my adorable angel…my ONLY boy has reached this age, and my days have turned into long and drawn out torture sessions.  I live for when he sleeps, for when we are able to con some unsuspecting soul to sit with him, and for the stolen moments where I can sneak time. 

 Yesterday I was sitting downstairs with the two of them, watching tv and playing with the ipad.  My son went upstairs for a little bit, which he does all the time given that the playroom is upstairs, so I didn’t think anything of it…my first mistake.  After having him take his diaper off at least twice, I finally wandered back upstairs to find black scribbles all over my white cupboards.  I came to discover, upon closer inspection, that these scribbles were made using a sharpie marker.  I knew that if I got to it quick enough with rubbing alcohol that it would come off…upon dropping everything in my hands to race for the necessary items, I nearly fall and kill myself on the slippery hand soap that has been spread all over my carpet.  Apparently the scribbles weren’t fresh enough because they weren’t coming off…I was forced to move onto the soft scrub.

 While scrubbing my life away, with sweat dripping into my eyes, I was struck by the memory of Casey at this age…she threw my brand new pink Nintendo DS lite into a crock pot full of water.  This is what led me to the belief that there is something about being 2 and a half that turns them into monsters.  My son, who is not yet talking to me, strips at every opportunity in order to wave his junk about and pee on things.  He dumps any and every liquid that he can get ahold of onto my carpet to make a puddle so he can jump in it.  He throws everything on the floor to see if it will break.  His most favorite toys are the plunger and the toilet brush.  He climbs on bathroom counters to get to toothbrushes (which he uses to brush the dog and cat), and into the medicine cabinets to see what bottles he can open.  We have those cabinet clip things on all drawers and cabinets in this house…not that it does any good because he just pulls on them so hard that they break.

  This is truly the house of my dreams, and I am trying with all I am to keep it in good shape, because I love it.  I have waited and even given up hope that I would ever have a house like this, and now my children are trying with all their might to destroy it.  The remains of the scribbling mock me every time I look at my counter, and I sit here knowing that I am going to have to drastically alter where everything is in this house in order to retain my somewhat slippery grip on sanity.  So here’s to the necessary changes we make to remain a functioning mother and wife!  Off I go to mourn the loss of all that is me in the pursuit of all things domestic.