Jakers McDuck

 Once upon a time Angie and I lived in a 24 foot 5^th wheel trailer next to my parents living in a 38 foot 5^th wheel trailer; in a terrifying trailer park in Hemet California.  We had just finished college and were both looking for jobs, while Angie worked as a substitute for the school district.  Anyway we were all poor…very poor, but we had each other and a place to lay our heads.  In December of 2004 we decided that as Christmas was approaching we would take a small amount of money and buy little things for each other at thrift stores, I think we had more fun shopping than opening the gifts! 

On one such occasion we went to several stores and I hadn’t found anything, not even something for myself, and I was becoming discouraged.  We went to one last one that had a large front window, and sitting in that front window was this very large duck.  I smiled at him as I walked in and looked around, the stuff in this particular store was a little more money than we were really able to spend, and so I walked out still with nothing and we were about to go home as it was starting to rain.  My mother and I were standing out front and again that duck was smiling at me, I reached into my pocket to see how much money I had…$6.  I thought there is no way that I could get that duck for that, I frowned and looked back at him…Angie and Mom were already across the street waiting by the car.  I swear that duck said “please, just try!”  So what else do you do when a large stuffed duck in a store window speaks to you?!  I went back in and asked the guy, he looked at me and said that he had been there a long time…I almost cried…and said he would sell him for $5.  I handed over the money and ran over and picked him up and walked out with his head over my shoulder.

 Mom and Angie had these really odd, eyebrow raised, looks on their faces as I came across the street to the car.  I put him in the backseat and got in the car, neither one of them asked…they just looked at me.  All I said was that he spoke to me, they both nodded and off we went.  That was 7 years ago and little did I know then why he spoke to me and why he had to be a part of my life.  I had no idea until very recently why Jakers (that’s what I named him) has been with me everywhere I have moved to.

 Jakers has sat in the corner of almost every room my husband and I have slept in, even with all the times we moved Jakers NEVER went to storage.  He happily sat in the corner next to my side of the bed when I moved into my new husband’s home.  He joyfully sat on a chair in the room we rented from a lady after we sold that home.  When we moved into the apartment where I had Casey, he patiently sat in a corner in her room watching her grow.  When we moved into our home, I set Jakers first back in Casey’s room…but he just didn’t seem like he went there.  I moved him after I had Ryan Jr into his room shortly before I started to put Ryan in his own bed, and Jakers seemed happier.  Since I moved the twin bed into his room I moved Jakers back to my room and sat him next to the wall in front of the tv, and he seemed exstatic…and I had no idea why until a few months ago.

 When my husband and I are upstairs we put Bubble Guppies on in our bedroom for Ryan to watch and still be relatively close to us.  I went in there a few months ago while he was watching tv, I think I had to pee, and there was my son laying happily on Jakers.  I cried and I took a picture.  This is now Ryan’s ritual:  Watch guppies while laying on Jakers.  I don’t think I have ever seen Jakers this happy.  The whole thing came together for me while I was vacuuming in my bedroom the other day…because as I started to vacuum Ryan pulled Jakers out and plopped on top of him, and I swear as I looked at that duck, he said “thank you for coming back for me.”

 I stopped and I cried with the realization that Jakers knew when he saw me that my son, who wouldn’t be born for 5 years, would love him…and he would be happy.  Thank you Jakers for speaking to me, and thank you for loving my son and being his pillow.  Here’s to you for understanding the bigger picture long before I even knew what was coming.

A break in the Clouds

 As you all know the winds of adversity have been taking their toll in our lives…yet every now and again there is a break in those clouds and winds, today was one of those days.  Today we had the opportunity to take our children to Sea World in San Diego, and we had so much fun!  As a mother my joy comes from seeing my children happy and excited, and watching them today nearly brought me to tears.  My little girl told me tonight before I put her to bed that her favorite part of today was seeing all the sea animals.  It made my heart smile and made me realize that even in the hardest times in life, joy has a way of breaking through and showing us how truly beautiful this life and this world is.

 I was able for a day to forget all those worries that are pressing on my heart and mind.  I forgot that the Dr believes that I am starting to have migraine headaches.  I forgot that I have to schedule a CT Scan tomorrow.  I forgot about all the things that still have to be done in the house.  I forgot that I still have to have another crown on another tooth.  And I am so grateful to be given these opportunities to forget, and that I was smart enough to take advantage of them. 

 We also took my husband’s mother with us so that she could have an opportunity to spend time with our family, and at the end of today she thanked us for taking her, and said that she was so happy that she went with us instead of staying home.  I can’t even put into words how much that means to me.

 I watched as my little boy clapped and got excited when we were at the sea lion show.  I smiled as I saw how ecstatic my daughter was at the dolphin show, as my little boy fell asleep in my lap.  I saw again the beauty that the Lord has put on this earth for us to enjoy.  And I sat in awe, with a childlike joy with every flip and jump and splash of those gorgeous animals.

 Here’s to you Sea World, thank you for reminding me that even when difficult times are happening, you can still have time for beauty and joy!  These are the days that make all those hard days with your children worth it, these are the days that we live for, and these are the days that we love to live. 

The Fountain of Youth: Part II

Over the last year I have found various new items to add to this list, and as I believe it should be a living, breathing, changing thing; I feel as though I should always be willing to add or alter what has been written.  I guess that is the right of the writer to do such things!  Anyway, I had a fantastic response to the last blog I did on this topic, so I have decided to add to it.

I try in every way to stay fun and exciting and child-like for my children’s sake, but not just for them…for me!  I play with my kid’s toys, and I take long thought in what I buy them for their birthdays and Christmas.  Recently my son turned 2, my husband and I decided that a dump truck was in order for our little dirt playing boy, and so we priced them.  Holy crap!  If you buy one new in the stores they are at least $35.  It is not that we don’t have the money, but these were a bit much for any 2 year old to deal with…they rumble and sing and move by themselves!  The good old fashioned all metal Tonka dump trucks were even more expensive…I just wanted a simple truck that my boy could play in the dirt with!  With our dilemma in mind last month I went to a thrift store with my mother and found high on a shelf a basic plastic dump truck that didn’t sing or dance or anything, for only $5.  JACKPOT!!  When he opened it his eyes lit up and the search was all worth-while.

 These are the kinds of decisions that keep me up at night, not those so-called big ones like what car to buy or whether to have another child or not.  Yes, I know…I should be more serious right?  Well, poop on you!  The other day I looked at myself in the mirror and I was suddenly struck by the idea that I had grown up.  I sat and wondered when this happened and whether or not I liked it…I even asked my mother when she realized that she had grown up.  She told me that she wasn’t sure when it happened, but was sure that it had because she is 70 years old now.  I asked my husband when he realized that he had grown up, and he told me at 12 years old…I shed a tear for his loss, because I know the reason why.  I spent many days avoiding my reflection in that stupid mirror, probably because I didn’t want to see that newly-grown up me.  I think I have come up with a compromise…I ignore that grown up, and she only rears her head when I have to make some type of important decision.  Taa Daa!!  I just refuse to become some boring old biddy that sits around knitting with pictures of plants on my walls covered in fruit wallpaper!

    So here it is, my newly determined kid-like self; with items to add to my fountain of youth list.  This is going to be focused on what you deal with every day; what do you see and what do you interact with on a daily basis.  I think that what you look at day after day has an effect on the way you see life…if you want to stay young then look at something that reminds you of being young.

       What picture do you have on your desktop or laptop?  What picture do you have on your phone or ipod?  Wait, let me guess it is one of those windows wallpapers of an island or mountain or waterfall…yeah, let’s fix that!  What is your favorite childhood cartoon or toy or show or game?  Got it…now open your browser and in the upper right corner should be a search bar, if not go to google…type in whatever your answer was from the question I asked before and then type “wallpaper”.  Then hit the enter key…pick one you like and download it….then set it to your wallpaper!  Look at something that your kids would be excited to see if they ever see your computer, and be that excited to see it yourself!  

 Let’s see, right now my laptop has a really cool Charizard wallpaper on it, and my desktop computer has a rotating Hello Kitty series of wallpapers.  I change them at the very least monthly if not more often.  I have game ones, cartoon ones, and all varieties of others, but what I don’t have is landscape…landscapes are for the walls and painting classes!

     What is on your dishes?  Flowers…lines…gold filigree?  Boring!  We have the missionaries to dinner once a month, and last month when they came one of the elders said that they loved coming to our house because it was the only one that let them eat off of Transformers, X-Men, and Superman plates.  I laughed; it made my heart smile and brought so much joy into my life.  I have 2 young children, so obviously the dishes we use on a day to day basis are plastic…we get them at places like the 99 cents stores and when they are clearanced at the grocery store and Target.  Any dishes that are handled by small children are in danger of being broken, and most of you probably give your kids the plastic plates…but what do you eat off of?   Probably the fancy dishes…why?  You are always going to be old and feel old if you act that way!  You aren’t having dinner with the president in your home, you are eating with your children…enjoy it!

    What is on your key ring, other than your keys?  Everyone has something on theirs…what is on yours?  You don’t just see your keys every day, you handle them, you look for them and find them based on what is hanging from them.  What a person puts on their key ring is extremely individual and personal, and it tells a whole lot about a person.  My family loves Legoland, so we each have a Lego brick on each set of keys.  I try to rotate mine every few months, and because I have 2 sets of keys (one for each car) I get to have a lot of fun.  The keys for my car have an acrylic Hello Kitty silhouette which I love; and an indian chief Lego minifigure.  My husband has a Snoopy on his that I bought him at Knott’s Berry Farm, and because he has loved Snoopy since he was a boy.

    What do you hang on the walls of your home?  More landscapes?  I am in no way saying that landscapes are boring or that you should not hang them on the walls, I just think that you should have a reason to hang landscapes.  I have some in my home, but not very many, and the ones I have remind me of home.  I am very particular about what I put on my walls because I want to love what I see every day, I want what is on my walls to reflect the person that I am.  Is this how you choose what is on your walls?  Or do you decide based on what is in style or fashionable?  Or do you determine what to put on your walls based on how you want people to perceive you?  Think about those questions long and hard before you decide how to proceed. 

 What I propose is that you decide on one room in your house and take everything off the walls.  Then you should determine what your favorite movie of all time is…now find a poster of that film.  For example, my favorite movie of all time is My Fair Lady, and I have been searching for a suitable poster for years.  Hang that poster on one wall in that empty room.  On another wall find a shadow box with little shelves…you can usually find them at Michaels, then fill that box with little toys.  They can be toys that are current or toys that you remember from childhood, but make them all toys!  I currently have 4 such shelves in various places in my home, the most recent addition is a shelf a good friend made for me that has Squinkies in it.  I love little things, and have since I was a child, so these are the perfect way for me to have childlike joy on my walls to look at every day.

 There are a number of ways to use childhood items to decorate all sorts of places in your home.  For example my husband and I have a bit of a soft spot when it comes to stuffed animals, and we have a massive quantity of them from all varieties of cartoons and places.  Recently I have started finding ways to display and organize them.  One such way I found is to hang a plastic chain from the ceiling with clothes pins attached to it and then clipped the stuffed animals to the chain.  I have a chain hanging in my craft room, and one in each corner of my bedroom…the one on my side has Angry Birds on it and the one on Ryane’s side has snoopys hanging.  Just have fun and LOVE whatever you put in that room!

     Everyone has a wallet, even if it is in your purse or car or pocket, it is your wallet and you put your credit cards and driver’s license in it.  Some people have pictures of their kids or lovers…whatever you have in it, it’s yours…so what is on it and how did you pick it out?  I have several wallets, all of them are Nintendo related, and I rotate every 6 months or so, or I find a new one that I love.  My husband started my off by buying me a nice leather one with a classic GameBoy on the front, the next one was purchased at Spencers I think and has Mario on the front, as does the one I am using now.  It doesn’t matter where I go, I get complimented on my wallet.  Go get yourself one that makes your heart smile because it brings back memories that you love to remember!

     I know that we are all old and are supposed to wear clothes that reflect our age…but that is so boring that I would just have to lay down and die!  What is on the front of your t-shirts?  Nothing, right?  Do yourself a favor and go to WalMart or Target and go look in the t-shirts that they carry…buy one that has something on it!  Be daring, get the Pac Man one that says “om nom nom” on it!  Or what is your favorite drink?  Mine is Dr Pepper or Mountain Dew, so I have a red shirt that says Dr Pepper and a green shirt that says Mountain Dew.  I have countless Mario and video game related shirts, and I just bought myself a really cute Peanuts one with Woodstocks all over it.  I also get compliments on my shirts all the time, a favorite every time I wear it is my Tanooki Mario sweatshirt.  Do something daring and put on a character shirt and wear it proudly!

 In order to be young you have to feel young, and in order to feel young you have to act young, and finally how do you act young?  You act like a child; meek, submissive, and teachable.  You don’t have to act childish, just childlike.  Start by playing with your children, don’t watch them play, play with them!  Get down on the floor and play with all those expensive toys that you bought for them.  How do you know if a toy is fun for your kids if you have never played with it?  Boxes lie, just because it says 80% of 2 year olds love it doesn’t mean it’s true.  All that means is that 8 out of 10 2 year olds played with that toy for at least 2 minutes rather than the old broken ones that were also in the room.  That is not exactly a valid conclusion to a flawed study.  Play with the toys…try doing it when the kids aren’t around, I know I am speaking blasphemy…but one time while you are picking them up, sit for a minute and play.

  Remember in all I am saying, if you want to be young you have to act young…do you want to be an old biddy, or do you want to be the rock n roll granny who takes her grandkids on the biggest roller coaster in the theme park?  Live a little, for tomorrow we die!