It is that time of year again…wrapping present time. I hate wrapping presents…loathe entirely! Upon cursing this horribleness while doing it last night I have made some very critical observations and come to some very obvious conclusions.
1: I spoil my children…rotten. We have bought too many things for them, trust me, I just wrapped them all! I am now convinced that this is why parents tell their children that they are poor and cannot afford very many gifts; so that they do not have to wrap that many! I am beginning to believe in the idea that children should never have more than a couple of gifts per year, ‘cause holy crap, it takes like 2 hours just to wrap 10 gifts! There are much better things that I could be doing with my time.
2: Toys should ALL come in boxes that don’t have holes in them! They should have a display model in the store so that you can push all the buttons and what not, and then have them in a nice rectangular box that you take home. I got one of my son’s gifts done last night and then went to pick it up, apparently I chose the wrong spot to grab it ‘cause the paper ripped into the “display hole” in the stupid box! There was MUCH cursing in the land, and I almost resorted to the duck tape. Dear toy packaging people, what the HELL!?
3: All wrapping paper should come with those grid line things on the back; wow that is so helpful. Scissors should be extendable, as we are not orangutans to be able to stretch our arm across that huge freaking roll of wrapping paper to finish cutting it off. We have to crawl on top of the damn paper to reach across and therefore wrinkle the hell out of it and possibly rip it too. Tape dispensers should be standard when paying that exorbitant price for tape around Christmas, because those plastic things are pathetic! You spend the majority of your time trying to hold the paper and get some tape at the same time, all the while cursing about your lack of a 3rd arm.
4: Stores should have a service to do this crappy job for you, because we don’t all like doing it. I know that there are some people out there that just love wrapping gifts…well have I got a job for you! Then you can do all that fancy bow and ribbon crap that looks all pretty and whatnot…us regular people will pay you to do just that so that our children are actually convinced that elves really did care about their gifts, rather than the gift wrapped up looking like Dr. Frankenstein worked on it.
Overall, I still hate wrapping presents, and really wish there was a way around doing it! I tend to get lazy and waste a whole lot of paper because I don’t like cutting it. And I start putting gifts together so that I don’t have to wrap as many of them. After I have been doing it for 15 min or so my wrapping jobs start to get really messy, and instead of folding the paper I start mashing it down and using more tape. Only Santa Claus has the privilege of having stuck on mashed looking bows on his gifts…I save them for just this occasion! As far as ribbon goes…I use that to strangle myself before I give it up and go to bed. I try very hard to make it a pleasant experience, but no matter how much Christmas music I put on it is still like the Chinese water torture to me. Here’s to having to do things that we hate for the love of our children!
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