Around Christmas time a lady with 3 boys gave to me a gallon sized bag of Polly Pockets that someone had given to her…No, I don’t understand why someone gave a woman with 3 boys Polly Pockets. Anyway I was keeping them to give to Casey at some point, and that point came the other day and she has been playing with them. This morning I sat down to play with her and her Polly Pockets…and after about 5 minutes of serious consternation Angie came and I looked at her and said in a very firm voice, “I can’t like it these Polly Pockets!”…But let me tell you why!
Have you ever tried to play with these heinously small and frustrating toys? Holy Crap!!! I seriously have questions for the makers of these. Starting with why in the name of Zeus’ butt-hole did you include hats in the wardrobe when their hair is all formed into pony tails?!? The hats don’t fit on any of them except the boy that resembles that Justin Beaver kid. And if you are going to make these massive amounts of clothes for these dolls, shouldn’t they all be the same size? Here I am trying to put what must have been girly pants (they were blue) on the Beaver kid doll…they didn’t fit right at all! Then there was this girl doll that was smaller than the other girl dolls…what the CRAP was that about? Then I am checking this little chickie out, given that there was just something not right about her, only to discover that her arms were on the wrong sides, so her arms were bass-ackwards while her body was all facing the right way. Then just try and put those stupid clothes on!! They are very small and made of rubber, and you are supposed to stretch them over the bodies that are also small and made of rubber too! Rubbing rubber on more rubber when all the rubber is tiny makes for a very frustrated mommy! Here I am sitting on the floor of the living room trying to dress these little naked dolls trying really hard not to curse in front of my parrot of a daughter…HOLY CRAP!!! I was almost happy to go upstairs and clean just to get away from those stupid things!
As I am cleaning and vacuuming upstairs very forcefully in order to work out the aggression that I have going on inside me, I was thinking about these things. How do they expect little girlies to be able to work these things? No wonder we got them and they were all naked. I am glad that someone gave these to me, because if I had paid money for them this rant would be in an email to whoever makes those things. I would demand my money back because they are really not well designed, and I wonder if they brought some girlies in to try and play with them before they put them on the market. And if they did, were they children from a Western culture…because we are way not as detail oriented as those from the Eastern countries, especially when it comes to patience for these itty bitty toys. I also made the decision that at my first opportunity I am going to be pawning those puppies off on some other unsuspecting mother with a young daughter, as they are bound to continue to irritate me when she asks me to play with her.
So, in conclusion…I CAN’T LIKE IT POLLY POCKETS!!!
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