What is a Mother Bear...

When I was a young child I grew up in a forest.  And with that came various warnings and protections that my mother taught me...such as when you are walking down the road from the bus during the spring you sing a song at the top of your lungs so that the hunters don't shoot you.  But the one that has stuck with me since she said it to me was that I was never to get in between a mother bear and her cub, and if I was ever unfortunate or stupid enough to have this happen, that mother bear would make dog food out of me.

As I have grown and we moved out of the forest I came to understand that mother bears don't only exist in forests.  I have watched my own mother and other mothers, and now that I am a mother of 3, I understand in living color what a mother bear truly is. 

Upon researching this and having lived in the Pacific Northwest I know that there are only 2 bears that will actually eat human flesh; a polar bear and a grizzly bear.  Other bears will simply play with you until you stop moving and wish they would just eat you...kind of like the way a cat plays with a mouse but doesn't actually kill it because it stopped being fun. 

Here's what I'm saying in simple terms...every mother, whether human or not, knows what it is to become like a mother bear.  I have told my children for years that all they had to do is tell me who hurt them and I will "eat their face".  When Bianca was with us I told her the same thing because it is the only type of mother I know how to be.  Many people have noticed this about me...I tend to get really growly when my children have been hurt, ignored, or in anyway treated less than respectful.  And heaven only help the person who makes one of my cubs cry...it is then that people tend to feel my claws and teeth...and I am merciless in my attack.  But what many don't know is that this mother bear has quite a lot as far as self restraint goes...most of the time a person has to work hard to provoke momma bear. 

For example, a person telling me how to parent one of my children because they think they know better than I.  Telling me that I should be teaching coping skills because my daughter "can't be like this for the rest of her life"...when she deals daily with anxiety and depression.  And those don't even begin to cover the physical problems she has and has had all her life.  I live with these things daily myself, I even had a breakdown, and because she acts differently than someone else's child she has to change because she is the problem.  If you have never had anxiety or a panic attack, it is probably best not to tell someone who has and does on a regular basis how to cope with one. Momma bear is starting to growl under her breath and sits back on her haunches, all the while internalizing what's been said and waiting and hoping it will pass.

Now when this happened I had already remained silent for more than 20 min of the person saying things about my child.  2 weeks previous I had been told that my son was not a priority, you see he is the only child his age...this apparently makes him inconvenient.  Momma bear didn't eat anyone then...I growled to myself and left it alone, avoiding this person so that I could potentially keep Momma Bear in check.  I can't keep that bear under control when you keep at my kids...perhaps if you see my children as a problem then maybe you are not equipped to do your job. 

Now what happens when you corner someone and start poking them...and what happens when that person is a woman and a mother...and you are poking them about their children...and they have already internalized previous pokes.  I will tell you that Momma bear can only take so much, and if she's been cornered she will be ruthless in her attack when her limit has been reached.

With me at the moment I probably won't eat you, but you definitely don't want to get me to the point where you are nearly lifeless and I start playing with you.  I can be really mean...and insulting...and with the education that I have, I have no mercy on people stupid enough to try and poke me again after I have started walking away.    The logical course of action is to lay still and lifeless until momma bear gets done, and when she starts to leave, stay silent and thank God she decided not to play with you.  You prove your stupidity when you get up and say "hey big bear who just attacked me, I'm still alive and I haven't been attacked enough".  For example, when a momma bear screams at you that she is done and hangs up the phone after having told you where to put your opinions...don't call back 2 more times to get screeched at again.  I mean good grief, you have clearly pissed her off...so yeah call back and see if you can't make her angrier.

Now, I'm sure you all understand that I am the Momma bear by every definition that you use.  If I had a Patronus it would be a very large bear.  I have always loved bears, they are my favorite animal...being Native American I would say that is my spirit animal.  I was born to be what I am, a mother.  I have literally given everything for my children...I am now permanently disabled because of the birth of my youngest.  They are my entire life, my motivation, and my heartbeat.  So if you get in between this mother bear and her cubs, being made into dog food would be merciful.

This one is for all of you "momma bears" out there...there is nothing wrong with protecting your young.