Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Grandparents


 As many of you are aware my children have the privilege of living in the same house as their grandparents…they are truly the luckiest kids in the world.  This presents situations that bring both joy and consternation into my life. 
 First there is what I call the “grandpa shuffle”.  The other day my son started getting Grandpa to chase him…this first started because he stole something of Grandpa’s off his bedside table and grandpa had to chase him down, because I won’t do it.  My rule is “if you leave it down, then you chase him down.”  And he is fast.  So now in order to get Grandpa to chase him he goes in when he is sitting at his desk and pokes him until he gets up and then runs away.  I was standing in the kitchen when Ryan came running around the corner, then I heard Grandpa saying “I’m gonna get you”, I look over to see Grandpa shuffle around the corner like a train because he has socks on and he doesn’t want to slip and fall on the kitchen floor.  I nearly fell on the floor laughing just watching this, and since then it has become a ritual…I see Ryan running and laughing by and shuffling after him is Grandpa.  This brings such joy into my life!
 Then there is Grandma, who is bound and determined to corrupt my children.  Grandma decides that the boy wants to go outside, so off they go and the next time I look outside the boy is naked and Grandma has turned on the hose.  Upon re-entering the house Grandma announces that the boy needs ice cream…so out to the garage she goes with the boy so close in tow that he might as well be tied to her apron strings.  Grandma has started making massive quantities of pancakes at Casey’s pleading, so now the boy does what she calls the red-haired, blue-eyed, pancake dance as he points at the stove…it kind of resembles a rain dance, only pancakes fall from the sky, not rain.  When he is hungry he gets Grandma who lets him play in the fridge.  All milk in the house has to be chocolate, because Grandma makes it that way.  The default to every unwanted answer is to ask Grandma!
 The worst part is that when I go in and ask them what they think they are doing or when I catch them in the act, they look up at me with wide eyes and tell me that they don’t know what I am talking about.  They try very hard to look like innocent old people who have done nothing to corrupt their grandchildren.  This morning as I was eating my toast and hot chocolate casually, my son climbs up on the table and sits in front of the butter container.  Grandma gets up and gets a spoon from the drawer, comes back to the table, opens the butter container, and gives my son the spoon.  She sits back down and goes back to eating…as I sit looking at her like any mother would.  She averts her eyes and tries to start a conversation about the weather, like this will somehow excuse the before mentioned behavior.  These old folks are exasperating me!
 Though I may talk about these things that would normally drive any mother to drink, I love them to death and can’t imagine my life without them in it.  The other night Ryane and I had to be gone for about an hour and my mom sat with the kids as they watched tv.  When we got home the kids ran into greet us and I asked Casey if they had fun, she said “YES, Grandma stayed with us!”  I said “well aren’t you lucky to have your Grandma and Grandpa living with you?”…to which she says to me, “yes, I love them!”
  YES!  I love them too, and despite the exasperating moments I love having them around for my children’s sake.  My children are so lucky, so much luckier than their parents were.  My grandfather died years before I was born, and both my grandmothers lived 4 hours away.  When Ryane actually got to see his grandparents they weren’t really all there anymore.  Neither of us had the joy of good times with our grandparents the same way our children do, and we are indeed grateful for the blessing that they are in our lives!  Here’s to grandparents everywhere, may you all have the joy of spending a great deal of time with your grand-babies! 

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The Smurfs Need a Union


 Over the last several months my husband and I have discovered the joy that is Smurf’s Village…for those of you who don’t have an ipod, it is an app for the ipod touch or iphone.  In this game you build a Smurf village because the old one was invaded by Gargamel…and if you didn’t understand any of that, then look up Smurfs on Netflix and become educated to Pop Culture.  Anyway, you build a new village…and in order to do this you have to grow crops to earn money and experience to build more mushroom houses and get more smurfs and farming land to grow more crops and get more money.  This has been going on for months now, as growing crops and building houses takes time…REAL time!  To grow a watermelon for example, takes 12 hours…a good thing to plant while you sleep at night.  You can speed these things up using smurf-berries, but those cost REAL money.
Recently they did an update of this app and added a rather disconcerting feature; night-time.  In other words it keeps the lighting in the village like it is outside…according to the clock on your device.  So now when I have them plant golden corn at 11pm before I go to sleep, it is dark in the village.  My husband had to turn that feature off on his app as he was having great difficulty planting crops at night and making those poor smurfs work.  The other night as I was lying in bed playing this game, I thought to myself that the smurfs need a labor union…cause really what we are making them do is wrong somehow! 
I think that the United Brotherhood of Worker Smurfs is a fitting name for the union…because Papa Smurf never has to work, and neither does Smurfette, Grouchy, Clumsy, Marco, or Alchemist smurf.  The only smurfs who have to work their butts off day and night are smurfs who have no name.  Which, in considering it, are what labor unions do…give each worker a name and voice.  These poor smurfs get no breaks, no lunches, and no over-time!  I have never seen workers more in need of a union to scream at their employers for them. 
 This is not unheard of in video games; if you haven’t played Theme Park then you could experience this union aspect of a game.  If you play in sim mode then you have the pleasure of negotiating with a workers union…which is actually kind of funny the way it works.  There are these 2 hands that stretch across the screen and you gradually have to get them to meet in the middle…these are negotiations.  I am thinking this would be an interesting aspect to add to Smurf’s Village, only I wonder if there would have to be a union rep smurf that would come in to negotiate with Papa Smurf…and what would they make him look like?  I know!...Hoffa Smurf…or Teamster Smurf! 
I think that I may just turn to my husband’s philosophy; if it isn’t dark in Smurf’s Village, then I won’t feel guilty for making them work for 24 hours straight.  How I wish I could do that in real life…change the settings so that I don’t feel guilty about things…wouldn’t that be convenient for us?  I think the world would love to be able to turn off the “God feature”, then they could do whatever they want and not be responsible for it…and there would be no religious factions reminding them that they really are responsible for their actions.  Oh to live in the video game world and be able to turn off anything and everything that we don’t like…but alas we live in this world where reality rears its ugly head reminding us of the world we really live in.  May we come to be grateful for that, may we come to at least find joy in the good times, and may we come to learn from the hard times.  As that is really what life is about, doing the best we can with the cards that we are dealt, and trust me when I say that our cards don’t come with a settings menu!